thoughts on a not so personal god

I don't know how many of you read Magpie Girl's blog, but I have followed her for a few years now. She used to be a pastor in a typical evangelical church, but she has slowly moved into a more all-embracing multi-faith practice. She recently blogged about the idea of a personal god when your spirituality expands. From her blog:

This shift from a personalized, highly-involved God to something wider and less humanoid can be unsettling for a lot of people. I often get questions around the idea of: “Well, if God is not personally in charge or me or personally involved with my life, what does that mean!??!” It’s a big shift, and not everyone makes it, or even needs to make it.

agnostic christian

I have in my rss feed a blog called Existential Punk. This blog is written by a woman named Adele. She recently posted about being a Christian agnostic. I found that it might be interesting to some of us at Emerging Desert. Here is the link to that particular post if you are interested.

Here is more about her in her own words:

My name is Adele and "i am thomas, doubter. i am judas, betrayer. i am nicodemus, reluctant in the night. i am st. john of the cross, soul darkened by love. i am a christian. i am not." (i borrowed this from David Henson at the blog unorthodoxology b/c i like what he said and i resonated with this.) i am also "lost, wicked, and depraved but redeemed by the grace and beauty of God." ( i also resonated with this and borrowed it from Eugene Cho at the blog beauty and depravity.)

i am a traveler who currently resides in Sacramento, CA with my partner and love of my life, Katryna, and our dawg Mushu, a Tibetan Spaniel. i am currently going through long-term treatment for Chronic Lyme Disease, other tick borne diseases, and heavy metal toxicity.

certainty and doubt

Yesterday, we talked a bit about those who hold certain beliefs true and those who are holding doubts. Is there room for both people in our group? Are there people who could come to our gathering and feel unwelcome because of issues in their life?

It was an interesting discussion, and I think it really challenged many of us. I certainly was engaged, and I learned so much from people who have actually faced certain situations in their lives. It's one thing to pose a hypothetical situation, but to hear answers from real situations is humbling.

I thank everyone who shared stories.

It's true that context and relationship can change us. It's one thing to have an opinion or belief, but it up-ends us when someone we love comes to us in their pain.

Thoughts?

Paradigm Crash

Just thought I'd get these passages of the book up on the blog... to me, these words of Siljander's really resonate with the orientation of our cohort:

- excerpts from pgs 16-19, A Deadly Misunderstanding by Mark Siljander

--------

We chatted for a few minutes, and then he got to the point: if I didn't mind his asking, as a follower of Jesus, what was my strategy in relation to other people in my travels around the world? I replied without hesitation: it was to convert them to the Christian faith. He nodded thoughtfully, then asked a deceptively simple question: "And why is that?"

I was taken aback. Why would he ask such an elementary question? "Well," I began, "of course, converting people to the Christian faith is the basis of Jesus's teachings. It's our duty as Christians. It's...what we do. You know this, Doug." Silence. "I mean, it's in the Bible."

"Really." He paused and fixed me with his gaze. "Would you name one verse?"

Now I was baffled. Was he serious? This was first-grade Sunday school stuff! "Doug, come on. What are you driving at?"

"No, really," he pressed gently. "Go ahead. Just one."

Okay, I thought, if you insist. Let's see ... And a moment later I was stunned to realize that I could not bring a single verse to mind -- not one. I felt humiliated.

...

After Doug left, I began combing through the Bible, determined to find the answer, and I continued to comb, not for an evening or a week but for a solid year. I searched the entire New Testament high and low, looking for personal vindication, until I finally arrived at the disturbing conclusion that it simply wasn't there. The strategy of converting people to Christianity, a strategy that I had so fervently held as a God-given, biblically based mandate, was never mentioned in the Bible -- not once.

...

... Following Jesus, according to Jesus's own disciples, was not a matter of religion; it was about the revelation of God's truth as conveyed by Jesus's influence on the human heart. As I continued poring over the text, I came to an inescapable conclusion: the teacher from Nazareth never intended to start a religion. What he was creating was a movement, a relational revolution of the human heart.

So where did this leave Christianity? Where did it leave me? I thought of myself as a devout Christian--but what did that really mean? Was it an illusion? Had I been brainwashed? I felt a victim of my culture, heir to a long tradition of assertions by countless articles and books, teachers and preachers, about truths they all insisted were in my holy book. I had accepted what I had heard.

An even more unsettling thought occurred to me: if I had been misguided on this critical strategic point of my faith, were there other areas where I was just as misinformed? Was my personal mission in life based on erroneous information? Was my faith based in truth--or was it a blind faith? All at once my belief system felt incredibly fragile. It was as if the ground I stood on was crumbling under my feet. As devastating as it had been to lose my reelection campaign, this was worse.

I thought of the phrase "paradigm shift," which had been coined by social scientist Thomas Kuhn in the 1960s and was just starting to enter popular usage at the time. But the term seemed to pale next to the intensity of the experience. This was not a paradigm shift. This was a paradigm crash.

made me think of our group

welcome to the desert

Hey friends,
I want to draw your attention to another post by Julie Clawson. She blogs about the role of the Holy Spirit as one who draws us into the desert...tempts us, teaches us about doubt...I thought we could all find the irony in the name of our group.

The desert is a hard place - barren, empty. A place not of joy and assurance, but of desolation and doubt. It is where one goes to wrestle with God - really struggle with the hard questions that honestly have no answers.

first sunday in advent

Hey friends and fellow travelers, I just wanted to thank everyone for their candor tonight. I felt really connected to each and every story. Thank you for sharing your hopes and your struggles.

Here is a link to a post by Julie Clawson who lives in Austin, Texas. She is an insightful blogger, and I really appreciated her advent post. Excerpt:

...those magi following that star had a hard time of it. The journey was difficult. Unsure of exactly where they were going or what they would find when they arrived, they just knew they had to journey on. A distant star, days of toil, endless doubt and questions, ridicule and remorse - these defined their hope. But they didn’t settle for safety or that which confirmed what they already knew. They sought a miracle and that hope sustained their journey.

Last Gathering

Hey friends,
I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed the Schroeders this week. (Jim, that Scottish Red was killer!)
For those that missed our discussion, we skipped the discussion about Exiles chapter seven, and we instead focused on crisis of faith. In our group, if you haven't had an experience of severe doubt, then you are either in one, or you'll probably have one. Scott gave some excellent perspective, and he pointed out that our relationships have good times and bad--so why should our relationship with G-d be any different? Why isn't it "normal" to go through the desert when so many "faithful" heroes in the bible had less than perfect records?
I just want to thank everyone for being willing to share their experiences, ask the hard questions, and be honest. I hope that our gatherings are always filled with open people reaching out to each other.
Please share your thoughts here on this post in the comments, and also with each other this week. I really liked what chapter six had to say about connecting through out the week--that's really important.
Peace, Jamie